I went into Woolworths yesterday to pick up some groceries. No big deal. And while I was there I bought a Mars Bar because I was hungry and it was a while until dinner time. Once I was in my car I unwrapped the bar and started eating it, holding it in my mouth while I slowly started the car and drove towards the carpark exit. Now, I’m driving really slowly because I’m eating a Mars Bar no-handed while driving. I swear to God, I was being really safe.
I get to the exit. This is an “exit only” bit, so there should be no cars coming in from this place. Yet when I’m about twenty metres from the exit some dickweed speeds around the corner, up the exit and past me, missing me by centimetres.
And all I can think of is the fact that if I hadn’t been eating my Mars Bar and subsequently driving very slowly out of the carpark, there’d have been a head-on collision instead of a near miss.
There. Just felt like relaying a story. That is all.